OK, so what the hell am I doing making my first trip to Arizona at the end of March…? (A question that I ended up asking myself once I got there).
I needed some time off from work. Time off from life. I had plane ticket credit from back in 2020 when I originally planned to do my first AZ trip. I had to cancel two years in a row and it was going to expire at the end of March. The ticket credit was only $120. A trip like this would cost around $2000. So it’s not like I had to go to save a substantial amount of money. Really I just needed to get away from work and wanted to get as far away from California as humanly possible. so I started brainstorming and looking into the ins and outs of an Arizona March trip
First, I’m looking at the dates in database records and there’s seriously like nothing ever found in March ever (except for A few randoms). Which is a no-brainer. The end of March going into April is really good flipping weather for California. But I knew the desert was a lot drier and a different situation all together. I’ve had some really good luck going against the grain in the past so I figured maybe I’ll just go out there and waste a bunch of money and do some scouting around. Make it just a scout trip and not expect to find much if anything. Then, I can go down there during the monsoons later, and have a visual of all the spots I want to check out. Having a better game plan to work around the weather while I’m lost within the storms. I had previously talked to Steve Bledsoe and he was very helpful in helping me connect the dots! So I thought OK, I’ll go down there and check out a couple of these places Steve mentioned, along with the other places I had already found in my research. But a lot of credit goes to Steve because he really did help refine my knowledge of where to find certain things. Especially retiformis
so hats off to Steve. Much obliged. However, there was a lot More happening down there in the springtime months than I realized I would be getting into…I was watching the weather like a hawk each week before the trip. Things were looking dry as a bone and I was Hoping to at least get one day of rain. Miraculously, I was granted that. I was looking at two days of 90° weather with a Two hour window of OK cruising temps in the evening. Then a cloud cover day followed by a full rain day at one of the spots. But it was a super cold rain that shouldn’t bring anything out. However, I reminded myself of the desert striped whipsnake and thought, “shit in the desert is thirsty”
“There should at least be a chance for one of the common amphibians.” It was going to reach temps of 70° after the rain day. So, things didn’t look too bad. I liked the idea of going with the flow of things and it was more than appealing to know that there would be absolutely zero Herpers down there while I was there exploring for the first time. So, at least I would have the place to myself. I decided no matter what, I’m just gonna have fun. At the same time, I had better get a really good game plan together and know exactly when and where I needed to be to have the most chances of success.
I drew up a map so I knew exactly how much time it would take me to get from one place to the next. I knew which days I needed to be at each one of these places. It was also cool to kind of put my skills to the test. I thought about contacting Steve to get some input on what he thought was best for a March but I decided I’ll just let the cards fall where they will. I thought about contacting Hubbs while I was down there as well. But because of accusations in the past (from other Herpers, not Brian), it was important to me to just do it alone. Do it differently… To some extent at least. It was more about me just getting away from the shit life I have. And flying to Arizona is a pretty good way to do that
Once I got down there it was a complete disaster. Way too dry, way too cold, and the border was crawling with alien activity on a scale of a small war zone. I had planned a whole day at a certain little ghost town where I figured there’s got to be some activity because there’s a seemingly steady water source. Upon arriving, I saw 3 border control vehicles with no patrolman in them, and then was met by 2 more border patrol pulling up behind me. One was friendly after finding out I was from his hometown and after talking for a little over 10 minutes, here comes border patrol down the hill with an alien in custody. I asked if it was okay to go ahead down to the ghost town. (I would have to walk in past the gate and pay a fee to the caretaker). Border patrol said that they had aliens hiding within the ranch and to proceed with caution but it was OK to do so. They had visuals on aliens with binoculars but were unable to get to them. So the whole time I would be there, I would also be under their surveillance. And under the watchful eye of who knows who else…
I walked down to greet the caretaker who was on keel with Jane Goodall with knowledge of the native animals and habitat there. I was about to pay her The day fee during conversation when I asked, “have you ever had any violent encounters with any aliens? “ she responded, “a couple times, but what really scares me are the vigilantes...” And she went on to tell me a story about a group wearing camouflage Maga hats getting hostile with her with automatic rifles. She was insisting there were no guns allowed on the ranch and they were letting her know that they were the boss. Vigilantes were also in the area at the time and she pointed one out to me.
As obvious as the situation was, something didn’t make sense to me… How is it so dangerous here right now and I am never hearing about this in the YouTube videos made by the AZ Herpers? Every now and then they see a couple cans of white beans or a backpack leaning against a tree… but there’s never any mention of problems with immigrants or vigilantes. I think smetlogic mentioned one time finding a guy walking around in the dark with a bow & arrow. Other than that, flash floods seem to be the only danger. Then it dawned on me… All the Herpers are down here during the monsoons. That’s got to be the most life-threatening dangerous time to try to illegally cross the border because of the flash floods. I asked the woman about it and she confirmed my assumption. So not only was it bad herping weather… but it was alien migration season and I was literally in the middle of a heated war zone.
I ended up Abandoning the entire game plan. I checked out a couple spots while I was down in the area, but didn’t check everything. Instead I decided to head north towards Tucson and above. I started checking for roads and good habitat on Google maps and formulating a new plan all together. Checking temps and trying to get in an area where the rain would still affect it, but wouldn’t be as cold. It was a real bummer and I almost decided to fly home early and just relax at home. Save the money. But I stuck with it and The rest is in the videos. Enjoy…
Here's a look at part of the map (with locale names removed):
Here's the first video. I'll add more once they're complete. The 2nd one is still processing it's YouTube Hd and 4k quality. This first one can be played in 1080p right now and probably 4k tomorrow. So, make sure to click that little gear icon
at the bottom of the video for the best playback settings:Here's the 3rd and final vid. Nothing was found on the last day. I originally was going to go for willies and rocks but I was pretty tired from lack of sleep. It would’ve been a good rock flipping day, but I had to be at the airport by 3pm, Checkout at the hotel 11am (no more shower access), and didn't want to make people fly next to me full of dirt and sweat. So, I roadcruised for a coach or whip.... no luck. Checked out a spot an awesome girl I met that day suggested (who's dad was a native snake breeder) but only saw a roadrunner run by with a lizard. I was already pretty satisfied with the last find of the previous day. So, it was nice to just relax and enjoy the last moments. I most of the day was dedicated looking for a unicorn mantis hatchling.
Oh yeah, one last thing… As I was standing in line that last day waiting for two of the best street tacos I’ve ever had in my entire life, before heading out on my last minute Low-expectancy unicorn mantis hunt, I talked Star Wars with a recently established Arizona native. After complementing him for wearing one of the coolest Star Wars shirt I’ve ever seen, he agreed to let me photograph it. In a way, it seem to metaphorically symbolize, a humorously summarized, ending scene imagery of the Arizona Jedi trials at hand (that originally was gonna be the last shot of the final video)… Bringing my journey to an end:
But yes, it was great to finally get out there and explore. I'm definitely gonna have to return for my little green toads...
could that actually be a Mojave?
… and the thickness of black coloration within the raccoon-like tail of the Atrox, distinguishing it from the more lightly faded banded tail of the Mojave… is indeed 
as we know it… that the Oregon traveling serpents are nothing less than more… The equivalent of the Oregon genetic mesh which similarly symbolically makes up the Ensatina inhabitants within…. And bring forth the rise of a new understanding, of the northern and southern pacific buzztail bush bastards… based on the over population of a once isolated flooded valley situation… The children of an atroxian scutenonimous love…. A more dominant mix of the two, deserving it’s own classification of scientific terminology
He just doesn’t have enough quality to be on my level. Not only that… He can’t even take me out to show me a mountain king snake” 
